Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Mussels and Angel Wings
It was raining this morning and I decided to go for a walk, in the rain. I walked for a while then I felt led to the lake we are staying by. While at the edge of the water I felt a strong urge to get in the water. It looked cold and there were mussels all over the bottom. I didn't want to get in but I still felt the urge. Almost like a push. I eventually took off my shoes and socks, rolled up my walking pants. Slowly, I inched my way into the water. The mussels were crunchy and not very comfortable on my feet. It was not a walk on satin. I continued on and then all of a sudden, I got it. I didn't get in knee high, but I had it figured out before then. God was telling me something. There was something that He wanted me to know, and I had to get in the water to figure it out. I didn't want to get in. But I did because God wanted me to. Then when I got in it was uncomfortable and I didn't like it. It wasn't cold. The water was warm and inviting. But the crunching was not good. What I learned was that even if it is uncomfortable, if God says to do it, you do it. You don't quit. When I got a little farther in the water, there were fewer mussels. Not so much crunching, and more sand. It was beginning to feel better. There was sand at the end of the mussels. These are the same mussels that the kids and I have been saying look like angel wings. Looks like when you need it most, God sends you angel wings to make it to the end. I brought back a mussel shell to keep just so I could remember what He taught me.
Monday, June 9, 2008
God given revelation!!
Not a revelation like the book of revelation. Not a revelation like I know when the end of the world is coming. Not a revelation like I now know the winning lottery numbers for next week. But a revelation on a verse. The "revelation" came when I was studying something totally different. To give a little background so it all makes sense...
In 2005 I had a hysterectomy. I was 27 years old at the time. The hysterectomy happened not because I wanted it but because there was cancer and it had to be removed. Check my other blogs for more on this story if you are interested. I was not in a very good state of mind at the time. I was very depressed and in a dark place in my life. Everything about my body had changed in the blink of an eye. Seriously, I closed my eyes in the surgery room and when I opened them it was over. Everyone else said there was a lot of waiting, but I think there might have been some kind of time warp or something. Anyway...It was shortly after all this happened that I asked to see the doctor. I have fought depression before and I knew what was going on. I knew that I couldn't stop it on my own. I went to the doctor and asked for advice. He put me in contact with a wonderful councelor who took the time to care, listen, and guide me to the Lord. Thank you T! Years even before this happened, I think for my graduation gift in 1996, I received a Bible from my cousin Shawna. I never opened it. Never really looked at it. It just sat on a shelf and waited patiently. Funny how books do that. I finally got to a point where I thought I needed it. I think that T had asked me to go to church. I don't know that I really remember now the reasons or things that happened to make it happen, but one day I turned to this dusty Bible. I had it put away for almost 10 years. I am a pack rat and sometimes I can't find things right away. Usually if I put enough thought into it I can find what I am looking for. I have never had to look for something that has been stored for this long. I don't remember looking for it. It was almost like it just ended up in my hands. Not yet knowing anything about God and the Bible and how you are supposed to find your answers I looked to my Bible. I had heard stories and stuff as a kid, but had never before thought that I could find and answer there. I sat at my table, with this Bible, broken and exhausted from an emotional roller coaster, looking for answers. I didn't know what to do, what to say, how to pray for it, how to interpret.....I knew nothing about what I was doing. I held my Bible closed and said "Dear God, if you can hear me, I need some answers and I don't know what to do. I don't know the answer. I've done all that I know to do. Help me to fix it and make it all right. When I let go of this Bible, I'm gonna read the page that you give to me and hope it makes sense." That is what I said. This is what He did.......5 times the Bible opened to either the back cover or the front cover. It was open, but not to a passage. There were no words for me to read. I was frustrated before I started this whole process, now I am really getting angry. I probably did this like 10 times and more than once my Bible opened to Proverbs 31. If you have read your Bible, most women have atleast heard Proverbs 31 atleast once. I read the whole thing and didn't really get it until yesterday morning. We are traveling with my husband and aren't attending a church regularly, so I do my own studies in the morning. Yesterday I was studying a book called "Lies Women Believe, and the Truth That Sets Them Free". The pages I was studying on and the verses I was looking up had nothing to do with Proverbs 31. It was stuck in my head, so when I was done with my study I decided to look it up and see what it was that I was missing. I have read or heard Proverbs 31 less than 10 times in the last 3 or so years since God first showed it to me. Proverbs 31:10 says "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." Here is the revelation: God is husband to the husbandless and father to the fatherless and soooooooo much more. If you are a woman of noble character than you are worth far more than rubies. It doesn't matter what anyone else says. God is the top dog and what he says goes! You are more valuable than rubies. If you are a woman, believing in God and washed in the blood of His son, forgiven of sins and awaiting your mansion in Heaven.....You are worth so much more than rubies! No matter who tells you that you can't, or you are not, or you won't ever.......You are worth more than rubies! Even if you are not married, you are married to the Lord. You are a wife to the Lord. Even better than rubies.....you could be more valuable than a year supply of fuel in an SUV! I don't think that would even begin to scratch the surface of how valuable you are as a woman of God! Remember that next time someone puts you down for something. Remember that next time you do something and it doesn't turn out the way you plan it. Remember that when you drop a frozen solid ice pack on your foot at 5:oo in the morning. Remember when you have a bad day. Remember when nothing seems to be going right. You are a woman of God and worth far more than rubies (or a year supply of fuel in an SUV)!!!!!!
God Bless
In 2005 I had a hysterectomy. I was 27 years old at the time. The hysterectomy happened not because I wanted it but because there was cancer and it had to be removed. Check my other blogs for more on this story if you are interested. I was not in a very good state of mind at the time. I was very depressed and in a dark place in my life. Everything about my body had changed in the blink of an eye. Seriously, I closed my eyes in the surgery room and when I opened them it was over. Everyone else said there was a lot of waiting, but I think there might have been some kind of time warp or something. Anyway...It was shortly after all this happened that I asked to see the doctor. I have fought depression before and I knew what was going on. I knew that I couldn't stop it on my own. I went to the doctor and asked for advice. He put me in contact with a wonderful councelor who took the time to care, listen, and guide me to the Lord. Thank you T! Years even before this happened, I think for my graduation gift in 1996, I received a Bible from my cousin Shawna. I never opened it. Never really looked at it. It just sat on a shelf and waited patiently. Funny how books do that. I finally got to a point where I thought I needed it. I think that T had asked me to go to church. I don't know that I really remember now the reasons or things that happened to make it happen, but one day I turned to this dusty Bible. I had it put away for almost 10 years. I am a pack rat and sometimes I can't find things right away. Usually if I put enough thought into it I can find what I am looking for. I have never had to look for something that has been stored for this long. I don't remember looking for it. It was almost like it just ended up in my hands. Not yet knowing anything about God and the Bible and how you are supposed to find your answers I looked to my Bible. I had heard stories and stuff as a kid, but had never before thought that I could find and answer there. I sat at my table, with this Bible, broken and exhausted from an emotional roller coaster, looking for answers. I didn't know what to do, what to say, how to pray for it, how to interpret.....I knew nothing about what I was doing. I held my Bible closed and said "Dear God, if you can hear me, I need some answers and I don't know what to do. I don't know the answer. I've done all that I know to do. Help me to fix it and make it all right. When I let go of this Bible, I'm gonna read the page that you give to me and hope it makes sense." That is what I said. This is what He did.......5 times the Bible opened to either the back cover or the front cover. It was open, but not to a passage. There were no words for me to read. I was frustrated before I started this whole process, now I am really getting angry. I probably did this like 10 times and more than once my Bible opened to Proverbs 31. If you have read your Bible, most women have atleast heard Proverbs 31 atleast once. I read the whole thing and didn't really get it until yesterday morning. We are traveling with my husband and aren't attending a church regularly, so I do my own studies in the morning. Yesterday I was studying a book called "Lies Women Believe, and the Truth That Sets Them Free". The pages I was studying on and the verses I was looking up had nothing to do with Proverbs 31. It was stuck in my head, so when I was done with my study I decided to look it up and see what it was that I was missing. I have read or heard Proverbs 31 less than 10 times in the last 3 or so years since God first showed it to me. Proverbs 31:10 says "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." Here is the revelation: God is husband to the husbandless and father to the fatherless and soooooooo much more. If you are a woman of noble character than you are worth far more than rubies. It doesn't matter what anyone else says. God is the top dog and what he says goes! You are more valuable than rubies. If you are a woman, believing in God and washed in the blood of His son, forgiven of sins and awaiting your mansion in Heaven.....You are worth so much more than rubies! No matter who tells you that you can't, or you are not, or you won't ever.......You are worth more than rubies! Even if you are not married, you are married to the Lord. You are a wife to the Lord. Even better than rubies.....you could be more valuable than a year supply of fuel in an SUV! I don't think that would even begin to scratch the surface of how valuable you are as a woman of God! Remember that next time someone puts you down for something. Remember that next time you do something and it doesn't turn out the way you plan it. Remember that when you drop a frozen solid ice pack on your foot at 5:oo in the morning. Remember when you have a bad day. Remember when nothing seems to be going right. You are a woman of God and worth far more than rubies (or a year supply of fuel in an SUV)!!!!!!
God Bless
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